What Happened When My Mother Stole His Majesty's Horse
by Parmamela572
Summary: "Let me tell you a story, one of friendship in the oddest of places and one of a tragic love. This story will show you the meaning of what it is to fight for your friends. Filled with loss and heartbreak, darkness and storms, this story will tell you of a life of a woman who braved impossible things and was put to the test many times. This is the story of your mother."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

 **Hello! This is my first fanfic like ever, so excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes! It is a revised version of What Happened When I Stole His Majesty's Horse, so the chapters will be slowly uploaded, because I am still currently revising it. I think it's going to be a lot better this time 'round! Hope you enjoy and please review!**

Chapter 1

" _Why did she leave? Why did she have to go?"_

" _Because it was her time, my dear child, but don't worry, I will look after you. You will never be alone."_

" _I want my mamma!" the young child wailed, hugging herself._

" _I am sorry, but she has gone, and she can't ever return. She would if she could though." The man hoped that was so. The little girl's mother had been one of his best friends, but she had gone through so much, and she had never truly recovered, not really. Of course she had pretended for her daughter's sake, but he had seen her cry when no one was looking. He had seen her break apart, piece by piece, until she put that mask back on and went on as if nothing had happened._

" _Your mother would want you to be brave. One day, I will tell you what happened to her, but for today, today you may grieve." He said, holding the little girl close as she cried quietly into his shoulder._

 _Ten Years Later_

 _He sat on his bed, sighing tiredly. It was time for her to know. He couldn't keep it from her anymore, not after all the lies he had told to protect her from the harsh reality. He rose to his feet and let them carry him to her bedroom door. He knocked, and the door opened after a few seconds._

" _Oh look who's here. Care to explain or are you going to tell me another one of your lies?" Her anger was thinly veiled by a mockery of respect._

" _I've come to tell you a story."_

" _Another fake version? What are you trying to hide? Why won't you just tell me the truth?" She screamed, letting her frustration burn through her._

" _No. I've come to tell you the story of your mother, how she became who she was and how she became the woman you knew."_

 _That stopped her, and she calmed slightly.  
"No more lies?" She asked uncertainly._

" _No more lies." He promised._

 _Seventy Years Ago_

The lithe figure held her breath as she heard footsteps coming down the hallway. She slide into the little space behind one of the large statutes and tried to be as silent as possible as she drew her black cape over her body and its' cowl over her head. _Good thing my hair is midnight black_ , she thought. The footsteps passed by and faded after several long minutes. She peeked out and saw that the hall was once again empty. She silently slid out of the tiny space and continued on her way toward the treasury. She saw no one else as she hurried down the stone passage. She found the door to the treasury and she picked the well worn lock quickly.

Grinning to herself, she walked in and shut the door behind her slowly, making sure not to make too much noise. She lit her single torch and continued down another stone passage that led downward. Shadows danced upon the walls as she walked. She came to another iron door and she picked this one open, but the lock was less used and in better condition than the last and it took her longer. Time was everything. She cringed at the sound of the creaking door and quickly closed it as she slipped inside the room. Her torches glow only emitted a few feet of light in all directions, but she could feel the emptiness of this room. She walked in one direction for a while and only after five minutes found what she was looking for. A few feet away from her stood the key to his majesty's stables, along with several other keys to various things.

Her escape was guaranteed at this point, and she almost laughed at the guarding system or lack of one. The dwarves of Erebor were too arrogant with their precious gold. She grabbed a few precious jewels, some as large as her fist, glimmering in the firelight, just for the money, and headed back the way she had come.

Sometime later she stood right in front of king's precious stallion, one of the _Mearas_ from forests of Lothlórien. Shadowstar was his name because his hide was black as night, but for a single white star on his forehead. This was what she had really come for. Shadowstar was well known and a prize to behold. Anyways, she loved horses and even though she didn't have a valid excuse to stealing anything really, she found the thrill, well, _addictive_. She easily jumped atop his back and without the need of a saddle she headed straight out.

He whined loudly and she heard a banging sound and her thoughts immediately flew to the worst possible outcome. _Not now,_ she thought. _Not when I was so close to my goal_. She heard shouting behind her as she pushed Shadowstar to go faster. The horse surged forward his hoof beats in perfect rhythm as she thundered away. She heard the sounds of other horses but they were quickly fading away. Shadowstar was one of the best horses you could find in Middle Earth. She laughed out loud at her good luck and with joy for it had been a long time since she had last ridden a horse. The feeling of freedom shot through her as the wind whipped around her sending her cowl back and revealing her tan skin and icy blue eyes. Her long raven black hair was like a cape behind her, while her actual cape was twirling and dancing behind her in the ferocious wind.

She rode Shadowstar hard for several hours, racing across the land over hills and through valleys, until she knew she had to stop soon to rest and eat. She slowed down Shadowstar to a fast walk and started looking for good places to rest for the night. Soon enough she spotted a clump of trees that would provide enough cover for both a horse and a girl. She dismounted and walked Shadow over to the trees and set up her small camp. She built a small fire and cooked a small meal and ate quickly. With a full stomach she soon grew sleepy, through she knew she should put out the fire first, but her body betrayed her and she fell into a dreamless sleep.

Far behind her, the sound of thundering hooves echoed against the earth as a group of ponies ran westward, and the cry of angry men atop them filled the air. The dwarves rode hard, not letting up until they caught sight of a glowing red light in the distance, marking a fire. Where the was fire, there would be someone, hopefully that someone being a girl who stole some jewels and his prized horse.

When she awoke she found a sword beneath her chin and saw a group of dwarves around her. She mentally cursed herself for her stupidity and muttered a few choice words under her breath.

"Get up!" A rough voice commanded her.

Her head was a bit fuzzy from sleep still, but she could tell by the sound of the voice that she was in trouble. She pondered her situation and decided to go along...at least for now. She got up.

"Give us your weapons and hand them out hilt first." The same voice ordered her again.

She looked at the dwarf who had spoken. He had clear, brilliant blue eyes and black hair that included stubble of a beard. He wore a deep blue tunic and a silver studded belt. He also wore a fur lined black cape that fell from his shoulders. The air of importance and authority he gave of was palpable and she knew without a doubt who he was.

She had seen him before, though he had not see her. She was looking at the mighty Thorin Oakenshield, king under the lonely mountain and he looked mad. He glared at her as she unsheathed her elven sword and gave him her two elven daggers, Sting and Bone. She glared back at him, not willing to show weakness. He studied the blades and then looked back at her.

"These are made by elves, but you are not an elf. I presume you stole these too?"

"Right under Thranduil's nose. Your fortress was even easier to break in. You seriously need a better guards system." She sneered at him while he tried to stay calm.

"And yet you still got caught..sleeping on the job eh?"

"Now you're just trying to turn this conversation back at me and ignore your weak guard system, though I have to say, I am quite the talented thief, so don't feel too bad." She laughed at his angry face.

"You will regret stealing Shadowstar, girl!"

"Stole? I was merely borrowing him for a little ride." She grinned smoothly at him and he turned to one of the dwarves, the one who looked like a younger version of himself. Her eyes lit up as she saw an opportunity. She lunged forward, simultaneously drawing her hidden knife and drawing Thorin's own blade from where he had it sheathed on his belt. She put her knife at his throat and his sword into the small of his back, glaring at the rest of the company to dare and apprehend her.

"Now who's making mistakes?" She whispered into his ear and laughed cruelly.

He tensed but didn't say anything, choosing to remain silent. The other dwarves drew their weapons, but didn't attack.

"Alright you lot, I want your weapons right in front of me and your hands where I can see them or Thorin dies. I want you," she said motioning with her hand at a young black haired dwarf, "To retrieve Shadowstar and bring him here. You will put my weapons in a bag and set it by Shadowstar. Then you will all back away and stand thirty or more feet from me. Now do it."

The dwarves muttered angrily, but did as she said and the young black haired dwarf brought Shadowstar close to her. His eyes gleamed with hatred and hopelessness at Thorin's precarious situation. She pressed the knife into Thorin's neck and a thin line of blood appeared. Thorin growled but didn't move. Suddenly in one quick motion, she smashed the hilt of the knife into Thorin's head, drew back grabbing the bag and leapt atop of Shadowstar. She squeezed his belly with her heels and they took off, away from the group of dwarves. He seemed to fly, his hooves barely touching the ground.

"Show us the meaning of haste Shadowstar."

She held him at a full gallop for a few hours then slowed to a canter as the horse grew thirsty, and she stopped him and let him get a quick drink before setting off again. She continued to the great east road where she slowed down to stop and eat a quick snack. Light was fading from the sky as she made a camp in a hidden dip in the ground, and this time she wisely didn't make a fire. She ate a cold dinner and fell asleep quickly afterwards.

When she awoke the sun was just peaking over the horizon, the pale light casting an ethereal glow over the land . She packed quickly and rode onwards toward the town of Bree. For many days she traveled, riding hard as not to let any dwarf catch up with her. _I'm certainly never going back to Erebor again,_ she thought. Knocking out the king does tend to do that. Soon she came upon the hills at the edges of the shire and the town of Bree came into view.

After many weeks of riding fast and sleeping little, she was finally home. She sighed contentedly at the thought of being able to relax at last, without having to worry about anyone hunting her. She rode into the stables of Bree, dismounted, and bribed the stable hand to keep quiet about her return. She then made her way to the market to buy some home grown food. She only had about twenty gold coins, so she bought only a few loaves of bread, some carrots, and a few sweet cakes. The idea of selling the jewels she had didn't look so good. If Then she hurried back to the prancing pony, where she had made herself a life as a barmaid years before. A great spot to hear the news and gossip was a bonus too.

She walked in and was immediately met with the smell of ale and baking bread. It was close to the eleventh hour of the night so most men had left or gone to bed in the inn itself. She went straight to her room and unpacked her things which included Thorin's sword. She hid the blade under a wooden board that had come loose a while ago. Then she hurried to join her fellow barmaids in the kitchen.

When she entered, Suzan, one of the prettiest girls she had ever seen before looked up and smiled at her. Suzan had soft brown hair and chocolate eyes. Her skin was tan like hers and she had a kind smile that lit up her face. She'd seen boys fall apart when she smiled at them. It was quite funny to watch them stumbling around and stuttering. She walked over to her and started helping her wash the dishes which were piled high. As they washed, she started the interrogation which always followed after her journeys.

"So Onyx," Suzan said using her nickname which originated from her raven colored hair. "What is your latest adventure?"

She forced a smile and replied:

"Oh I just took a trip to the city of Dale." She lied. Suzan knew that she was lying, but she always let it go knowing she was better off not knowing where she had been.

"And what did you do in Dale? Any interesting boys?" She grew red in the face at her last remark and thought of Oakenshield but instantly ignored it.

"No interesting boys Suzan. Speaking of boys..how are you and Sam doing?" She asked changing the subject from her adventure, but Suzan would not be deterred.

"Oh he's great. At kissing. Now what did you do this time? Did you steal something?"

She mumbled something about horses and swords, but didn't answer.

"Onyx please tell me you didn't steal something important." Onyx winced and looked down, but smiled all the same. "Oh Onyx. What am I to do with you? Is anyone going to come hunting for you? Do you need to go into hiding again?"

"Someone probably will but I doubt the would look here. It's not exactly the place for a burglar to live." She explained to her.

Suzan just sighed and we continued to work till all the plates and cups were done. She said good night to her and the other barmaids before retiring to her room. She didn't sleep though, choosing to stand by the window, staring out at the night sky. She couldn't sleep, her nightmares would come back and haunt her, so she avoided sleeping as much as possible, until she couldn't any longer. So was the way she lived since that night.

Weeks passed and nothing happened, no angry dwarves, no king under the mountain, just nothing of interest seemed to occur. She heard a few rumors that the King of Erebor was looking for someone, but other than that, there wasn't any excitement. She continued to work as usual, went on a few 'adventures', and made a new friend named Meredith. Several more months passed and nothing more happened besides a few drunken brawls in the tavern, therefore she felt that she was entirely safe. No one would look for a thief among hobbits, who were known for their humble and quiet lives.

Then one day while she was serving some especially thirsty men around luncheon she heard the inn door open and turned around to see who she was going to serve next. Standing there in the doorway was three dwarves, Kili, his brother Fili, and Thorin's personal guard, Dwalin. She hurried back into the kitchen and went to her rooms and packed up a few supplies then quietly slipped out back and went to the stables. She found the stable boy and paid him some more to keep him quiet.

Then she went around back to the hidden stall that she housed Shadowstar in. She jumped abroad his back and spurred him forward. They shot out of the stables. Once they reached the main gate, she slowed him down, and pulled her cowl over her head, keeping her head down. She went by unnoticed and sighed in relief. She headed back west for a few miles, then turned off the trail and into the wood. She made her way through the brush for several miles than finally halted and made a makeshift camp with some canvas and wooden poles. She set a fire up and warmed up some food. She ate and then sat under her canvas watching the wood around her. Nothing stirred. She decided that she would wait a week for the dwarves to leave.

A week passed slowly as she bid her time, hoping she would wait out the dwarves that would surely be looking for her. She didn't sleep much, a few hours one night and that was it. She was sleep-deprived, but stocked up on adrenaline.

She rode Shadowstar back and put him in the hidden stable and returned to the inn. She walked in making sure to keep my head down just in case the dwarves were still there and headed into the kitchen. Suzanne was pounding out some bread and the powder covered her from head to waist. She laughed at the sight, but Suzanne only frowned at her.

"Where did you go for the last week? Was it the dwarves you're running from? They're still here you know. They seem intent on meeting every long-black haired girl in this town."

She raised her eyebrows at the last part of Suzanne's sentence, but she only shrugged though panic flooded through her. She stiffly walked over to Suzan.

"Do you happen to have any of that hair dye left? The brown one?"

Suzan nodded and they both headed upstairs after the dough was done and in the furnace, cooking. She got out her hair dye and started dying her hair hair a light shade of brown. It took about an hour, but when Suzan looked into the mirror her hair was a soft shade of brown, a bit darker than Suzanne's own hair. She thanked her.

Then she headed to her rooms, where she hid a dagger up her sleeve and one in her boot. After that she headed back to the tavern, instantly noticed the dwarves in the corner of the room, watching the steady flow of customers with bold intentions. Strangely only three of them sat around the table. Thorin wasn't one of them. Kili, Fili, and Dwalin all had drinks in their hands, but she ignored them, going around with her face down, avoiding them. She weaved her way through the room back and forth as she took orders from customers. She tried to stay away from the dwarves, but she was ordered by the head cook to deliver some food to them. She balanced three trays of food and resigned herself to carrying them over. She ambled over, slowly making her way over to their table through the crowd.

They didn't seem to recognize her at first, as she kept her head down, attempting to hide her face as her hair fell over he face. She didn't speak for fear that they would recognize her voice. The plates clattered onto the table as she set them down. She instinctively looked up briefly when the young dark-haired dwarf tapped her on the shoulder. She froze, her breath catching in her throat as recognition flashed in Kili's eyes and anger replaced it. She tried to back up, but a hand gripped her arm tightly, tight enough to cut off her blood supply to the rest of her arm. Fear spiked through her at the thought of getting beaten and she wrenched herself away, running on pure adrenaline. Out the door, she ran to the town market, hoping to escape in the crowded streets. She didn't make it that far.

She was tackled by the black haired youth, her arms pinned below her body. She struggled against his weight, but he held her fast, cursing her in the dwarf language. She tried to push him off, but Fili and Dwalin caught up and grabbed her, hauling her to her feet. Her movements stilled as she felt cold, hard metal slide over her wrists and ankles. She panicked, fear seizing her, and she felt her heartbeat speed up till it felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. She felt her head spinning and her vision was fading in and out. Her chest felt compressed and she fought to breathe at all. Her knees went weak and she collapsed on Kili, who looked surprised at her wide, wild eyes and pale skin. The blood had drained out of her face when the chains had been locked on. He dropped her, and the ground rushed up to meet her. Her head hit first and her mind went blank as darkness engulfed her.

 **Hope you enjoyed :) R &R pls. I want to try and get at least five reviews per chapter before I update. I need your thoughts on the plotline and what you think I could improve!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Finally! I know, it took me a bit longer to get the chapter up than intimidated. I got busy with prepping for school and catching up on Supernatural. I hopefully will try and update once a month from now on. With school and extra curricular activities, I will be very busy. I hope you understand! Oh and please review!**

Chapter 2

Onyx woke up to her head pounding, the loud drumming seeming to echo throughout her body. Her body ached terribly, and she groaned, sitting up. She cracked open her eyes to an unfamiliar sight. She was in a small room, with a bed that had chains connected to the bedposts. She followed the chain with her eyes until she saw the metal cuff around her ankle. At least her arms were free; that made it easier to _not_ freak out like the day before. That had gone just peachy.

She sighed, looking around the room, taking in her surroundings. A small wooden table sat across from her and a lit lamp rested on top. There was a worn rug on the floor; the pattern had long disappeared from the many boots and feet that had scuffed the surface. She leaned against the wall, resting her head against the wood. She was screwed, there was no way out of this..unless she could get the chain off her ankle. She looked around again, to see if there was anything that could be used as a lock pick, but there was nothing. A creaking sound made her look toward the door as it opened. Kili, the younger dwarf stepped inside. He wore clothes that were once rich in color, but had faded from being exposed to the outside world often. He had a sword strapped to his belt and she could see a knife hidden on the inside of his coat. He glanced around the room, as if he was assuring himself that she hadn't stolen anything, not that the chain was long enough for her to go any more than a foot from the bed.

"Why?" Kili's voice echoed through the room.

She looked confused, not understanding what he was asking. "Why what?"

"Why did you steal it? Why did you steal the horse? Why did you hurt Thorin? Why did you faint when we put you in chains?" The words fell from his mouth like water rushing over the falls.

"One at a time, one at a time. No need to hurry." She muttered, ignoring those questions for the moment.

Kili glared at her, but apparently he wasn't very good at staying mad because after a few minutes of intense glaring, his gaze softened up. Not a lot, but anything was better than nothing, she supposed. Before though, when he had asked the question, he seemed to be asking why she had taken _it_ , and then had asked about the horse. What could he mean by that? Surely the jewels she had stolen weren't that important.

"You ask a thief why they steal? I could give you many reasons. Because I am starving and poor. Because I can't afford to buy many things. Because I need to feed my family. Because..I have a sick child at home. But none of them are true, not in the slightest. I do it because of guilty pleasure. I find the thrill addictive." She explained, not really sure why she was being honest.

It's not like she wouldn't ever have the chance to escape, one day they would slip up. So why was she telling the truth, when she could be lying? They didn't need to know the real her, because that would be dangerous. They could predict her then, and know what she would do if she did escape. But, somehow Onyx couldn't lie to this dwarf. He was too.., she looked for the right word. _Innocent_. That was right, he had no idea who he was dealing with, nor could he ever, because if he ever found out, that would prove disastrous, and not just for him. Even Suzanne didn't know her real name and who she really was. She couldn't drag an innocent bystander into her mess of a life. She wasn't that mean. Yes, she had perhaps been a bit cruel when she had taken back Shadowstar, but she had been caught unaware and for her, that was not okay. She had to prove to herself that she was strong, so she did what she felt she had too.

"You seem to speak the truth, I did not expect this." Kili's voice was low and his tone slightly surprised.

"I am not what most people expect." She replied, trying to keep her voice monotone.

"So why did you steal the horse? And what of the chains?"

"I love horses, and I've heard how magnificent Shadowstar is. I wanted a challenge anyways, and he provided one." She specifically didn't answer the second question.

"And what of your reaction to the chains?" Kili persisted.

She remained silent, not looking at Kili, but choosing instead to pretend to be interested in the wooden panels on the walls.

"Tell me."

"Why should I?" She found herself saying.

" Good question. You have no reason to, but yet here I am asking. Why would anyone who had taken you hostage want to know about your well being? I _am_ trustworthy, despite the situation at hand. I am just being loyal to my king. Is that so wrong?" Kili answered.

She found herself shaking her head, no. Why was she being so compliant with Kili? What was it about him that made her want to tell him things? She didn't know.

"Just tell me. I know there's some reason. If you tell me, then I'll make sure to keep you unchained for the duration of the journey. Though I doubt you would find anyway to leave with Dwalin around. I swear he never sleeps.."

She sighed, being out of chains would lighten up whatever journey they were going on.

"Fine. It's one of those irrational fears I have. Something in happened the past that created this fear." She refused to tell him exactly what had happened. That was too private, too close to home.

"You don't want to tell me what happened? It helps to talk." Kili insisted.

She felt irritation stir inside herself. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Why was she telling him these things that even Suzanne didn't know? She felt anger, anger at herself for being weak in front of her.. enemy.

"Just leave me alone!" She snapped, and turned away, pointedly ignoring him.

She felt confusion and hurt roll off Kili. He wasn't sure what he had said that had set her off like this. He was stupid to think that she would tell him everything. He didn't yet understand how the world worked. There were people like her, who had stories to tell, stories of pain and loss, and who tried to hide it from the world with a mask. Then there were the happy go lucky souls who had good lives and hadn't had the misfortune that her kind of people had. Then there was Kili's kind of people. People who had experienced loss, but from a distance. It wasn't as heart breaking as the first group. Either they were too young, or didn't know the person that well to be caused am overwhelming amount of grief. Those kind of people thought they understood how the world worked, but they were wrong. The world wasn't the good place everyone thought it to be. Sure, there were spots that weren't so bad, like the Shire, but death was never far.

Onyx heard Kili open the door and leave and the lock clicked into place. She sighed, anger for herself fueling her irritation at the Kili. He didn't really deserve being snapped at and ignored, he wasn't the problem. _She was._ She was the source of the problem. She was broken in many ways, life hadn't been kind to her. She had scars, deep scars that ran not just on her skin. She should know by now, not to trust anyone, despite how pure their intentions seemed, because although some were just and moral, too many people had hurt her and used her. Which is why she really couldn't understand her honesty to the dwarf prince.

The door opened again, this time the older, blonde haired Fili stepped through. She could see the distrust in his eyes. He was not his brother, he did not trust people and wasn't so oblivious to how the world worked. He understood better. She watched him pull out a key, presumably to her her chains. He walked over to her, one hand on a knife he wore on his belt. She didn't move, just let him kneel at her feet, the chain clinking as he removed the cuff. She made no sudden movements, but slowly reached down to rub her ankle where the metal had torn away the skin and left her ankle bloody and bruised. She finally noticed the slight bruising on her wrists and forearms, where they had grabbed her the day before. She felt her stomach turn at the thought and she began to breathe deeply to calm herself. She didn't notice Fili staring at her from a few feet away. She was too busy trying to stay calm. Memories washed over her; she tried to fight them, but it was no use.

 _Her standing, alone, but yet surrounded by soldiers. Her wrists tied and her feet bound together. She was forced to kneel and bend over, exposing her back to the harsh men that held her prisoner. The barbarians held her down as one brought out a cat o' nine tails. She screamed for someone to help her, but no one stopped. They just ignored her, pretended that this wasn't happening. She saw one little boy tug at his mother's sleeve and ask what they were doing to 'the poor girl'. The mother hushed her child and led him away quickly. The metal chains chaffed against her wrists and ankles, their grip tight and unyielding. Suddenly white hot pain spread across her back, burning her veins with fire. She let out a piercing scream as the whip was brought down again and again; she didn't know how many times they whipped her. She lost track of time in all the pain. Blissful darkness took over and she welcomed it with open arms._

She blinked her eyes open, to find herself lying on the bed with Fili standing over her, holding her down by the wrists and there was Kili, holding her ankles. Her legs felt bashed up and sore and a new bruise was forming on her knee. What had happened? She lay there, breathing deeply, completely still. The two dwarves let go, Kili looking concerned and Fili watching her carefully. Her throat felt dry and constricted.

"What happened?" Her voice was raspy and soft.

"We could ask you the same." Fili muttered.

"You were thrashing around after you collapsed on the floor. Fili and I had to hold you down so you wouldn't hurt yourself. You banged your knee on the chain when you fell." Kili said, sending his older brother a glare. "Are you alright?"

"Better now, thanks." She replied hoarsely.

She smiled faintly at Kili, while Fili still looked at her with distrust. Kili was too trusting and Fili knew that. As his older brother, it was obvious that Fili had been forced to look after Kili from a young age. You could see it, the over protectiveness in his gaze. Fili knew what it was like to feel pain, someone close had died and he understood. He hid his pain from his brother, that was clear too. Fili had been forced to mature quicker than most children to take care of his brother. If she gained Fili trust, which wouldn't be easy, she would be 'worthy' to talk with Kili as she pleased. Why was she even contemplating gaining anyone's trust? Was she that desperate for a friend? The answer to that was yes, she was desperate for a real friend who she didn't have to hide things from. Who could understand her for who she was. Who was she kidding? She wasn't going to be around long enough to make any friends. She was going to get thrown in jail or made a slave by Thorin soon enough. Better not to get close to anyone if only to leave them. What would Suzanne think of this situation? She would probably just say fuck it and make friends. Of course, Suzanne was very different from herself, Suzanne hadn't gone through the things that she had.

Why was it even a choice? The answer should be obvious to her, there as only ever one option. So why was she questioning it? She didn't know. Life was too damn complicated sometimes. She wished that she could just drown it all out, by any mean possible.

"You will be traveling with us to the blue mountains to meet your fate. Thorin will judge you as he sees fit." Fili commanded.

"Great." She muttered, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"There are going to be rules on the road. If you respect them, you might receive a form of freedom." Fili added, pointedly looking at Kili at the rules part.

Onyx suppressed a laugh at the siblings rivalry. Fili gave her an odd look after he caught her making a weird face. She shrugged her shoulders and ignored him, glancing at Kili, who had turned to her.

"Fili, Dwalin, and I already decided on the rules. They're simple and aren't hard to follow. Number one is you cannot escape, for obvious reason one of us will always be watching you. Number two is don't draw attention to our group. Number three is to not ask questions when we command you to do something. Lastly, don't try and steal any extra food or water. You will get what you get; no more than necessary."

She considered this for a few seconds, thinking about the implications. "Sounds reasonable."

Fili watched her with open suspicion at her easy compliance. Kili smiled at her, despite her snapping at him earlier. She felt her lips turn upward slightly, without her mind processing it. Quickly taking the small smile off her face, she turned away from both boys, laying down on the bed.

"When do we leave?"

Fili responded, saying, "We leave tomorrow at dawn."

She grunted to show she had heard. Fili then left her, the door swinging shut behind him. Kili, however did not follow his brother, even after Fili told him to leave her alone. Turning to look at Kili once more, she felt questions bubbling up.

"Why are you still here?"

"You are lonely, I thought you could use companionship."

"Even after I snapped at you?" She let a little confusion show.

"I overreacted. I shouldn't have pushed you as much as I did." Kili said, his eyes gleaming with guilt, though his face remained mostly stoic.

"I shouldn't have snapped in the first place. I wasn't angry with you, just at myself." She replied in kind.

"Why were you angry with yourself?"

"You know you have this amazing ability that makes people want to tell you the truth?" She repsonded slyly, dodging his question, not wanting to answer it. He let it slide, which she was thankful for.

He laughed at that, a hearty, contagious laugh. It made her want to laugh. There was something about Kili that made her feel weird, like she was happy. The feeling was strange and nostalgic. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually felt happy. Even when she felt free, back when riding Shadowstar, there was that doubt in her mind, telling her that she was a bad person, telling her that she didn't deserve to be happy. But for a reason she could not fathom, Kili made her feel good about herself.

"You are an odd dwarf, Kili."

"And why is that?" He asked, curiosity piqued.

She thought about lying and telling him something else than the truth, but instead decided against it. _What the fuck, might as well,_ she thought to herself.

" You are unlike any dwarf I have ever met. You make me feel happy. You make me want to smile and laugh. I haven't felt that in a long time. Trust me when I say you have gift. You don't understand what that even means for me. It's been ages since I last genuinely smiled and laugh, innocently and pure. Riding horses is the only thing that gives me a similar joy, but it's not the same as you. Why do you even act nice toward me? I wronged your uncle and stole things from him. I do not understand."

Kili thought about it for a minute or two before speaking. "You ask why? Because I can see there is at least some good in you left, it's not all gone under that facade of yours. I can tell from how you answered my questions and by the way you avoided others that you feel undeserving of happiness and that you think you should be punished. You won't try and escape because of this. I know there are times already that you could have gotten out, but you didn't. I saw you fight before; you are an excellent fighter and very light on your feet. You have skills unequal to most living men in this world, but yet your self-esteem is lower than almost anyone I have come across. Something happened to you, or should I say some things happened to you and molded you this way. You think that there is no hope left for you, but I can see there is yet. You can be healed, you can learn to trust again. Not everything that happens to you is going to turn out bad. You are worth something, not nothing. You are worth saving. I know you can become someone everyone will envy."

She stared at him, stunned. How did he manage that? He must have been paying close attention to her every word. Was she really that obvious? She cursed herself for showing to much. Every word he said had been true, but doubt followed her around like a lost puppy. Did she really have a future? For so long, her future was bleak and full of pain, but now this dwarf was telling her that she could become something better, that she was worth saving.

"Are you sure that what you say is true?"

"Definitely."He answered resolutely. "And it's okay. Showing emotions isn't a weakness. Being happy is a strength because it shows that despite what you have gone through, you have conquered it. It does not control you, you control it. Hiding all your emotions away will only prove disastrous and will hurt you in the end."

She couldn't think to say anything, so she just gave him a small smile. He smiled back, and she felt for the first time in a long time, truly safe and comfortable. Which was incredibly ironic considering the situation. It made her laugh, just the thought of it, and instead of fighting it back, she let it erupt out of her.

"That's right. Let it all out." Kili added happily.

And that's how he left her, smiling like there was no tomorrow.

I closed the door slowly, walking down the hallway in the living room, where my brother and Dwalin sat, talking. When I entered the room, Fili looked over at me, a determined look on his face. _Here it comes_ , I thought.

"Kili, we need to talk."

Dwalin stood up and left the room, giving me a warning glance as he passed by. I moved over to my brother and sat on the wooden chair opposite of him, sighing.

"What now?" I felt a tinge of annoyance run through me.

"You are _not_ to become friends with our hostage. She is our prisoner and you should treat her as such. If I see you getting to friendly with her, I will terminate your contact with her and put her back in chains." Fili replied.

I felt anger roll through me, building up like a storm does. I glared at my brother, who looked calmly at me.

"You cannot put her in chains again, I won't allow it! How can you treat her like this? She is not that different from you. I don't understand why you always do this! It's like you don't want me to make any friends!" I shouted.

Fili's eyes blazed with anger at my accusation, and I saw his fists clench.

"I am nothing like her!" he spat out angrily, "How can you enjoy her presence, much less talk to her! She stole your uncle's horse and his precious stone that was given to him by his grandfather! She is a despicable person and should be imprisoned!"

"You don't know anything about her! How can you say that?!" I yelled in return.

"Oh and you do?" Fili challenged.

"I know more than you! You know nothing of what she is truly like! She is worth the trouble! She has so many possibilities ahead of her and she doesn't even know it! She has good in her, she has more of a heart than you it would seem! I will protect her if you won't!" I screamed back, meaning every word.

"Then don't come crawling back to me when she hurts you and leaves you!" Fili screamed back, storming out of the room.

I felt my rage subside slowly, but I didn't forget what my brother said. I would prove him wrong, The girl would become better, I knew it. She would rise above what she was now. I just had to help her.

 **Well, that's all folks. Please review, I would like to get five reviews before I post the next chapter. I value your input! By the way, I know Fili is kind of a douche bag in this chapter, but he gets better, I promise! He thinks he's looking after his little bro, protecting Kili and such. Onyx doesn't know what she's in for. Hope you enjoyed :)**


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